The Build Up

I met with my Surgeon a week after my final Chemo session. This was the planning appointment for my surgery. I was anxious in the car on the way there, I knew the surgery was necessary and was definitely going to happen. This appointment was going to give me a date for it and therefore made it all very REAL.

At this appointment I had repeat scans performed; mammogram and ultrasound scans. These were to provide the surgeon with the most up to date information alongside the results from the CT scan I had 3 weeks previously.

The Surgeon was happy with the scan results which showed some reduction in the size of the tumours since the mid-way scans I had approximately 10 weeks previously.

She was planning the mastectomy surgery for four weeks time. She advised me to start a high protein diet, to include two eggs per day to my normal diet and an orange every day to increase my vitamin c intake. The orange is no problem but eggs were the worst thing she could suggest I haven’t eaten an egg in over 20 years as I don’t like them…this will prove interesting!!

I was advised to spend the weeks before the surgery building myself back up in order to cope better with the anaesthetic and the surgery itself. I continued to go to work for the next 3 weeks. I was still very fatigued following the chemo treatments. However, instead of the gradual decline in my energy levels that I had been experiencing over the past few months, I began to notice some small improvement in my energy levels.

Over this period I noticed that my hair was starting to regrow, much as I looked like a cross between a tennis ball and peach fuzz. To me it was an indication that normality was beginning to return after the trauma of the chemo treatments. However, I had been warned that the Docetaxyl drug I received in the final three chemo sessions could cause fingernails and toenails to fall off…I had been diligently painting my nails with dark nail varnish as a friend had read that this could reduce the likelihood of nail loss. Unfortunately this didn’t work for me. Over these few weeks post chemo and pre surgery my nails on both my hands and feet began to fall off. Not all at once but every few days another one would disappear! For me it wasn’t as sore as I had expected, as there was always a nail already trying to grow in underneath. But it was pretty ugly looking I’m afraid!! I’m now down 8 fingernails and 6 toenails. I look forward to the treat of a lovely manicure and pedicure but will wait until they all regrow first!!

Click on this link for information re nail loss post chemo

Maybe a smidge too big!!

I started to get organised for the surgery and also for after it. I bought pyjamas that button up at the front and also about 5 sizes too big!!! (makes it easier to take them on and off). I made sure I had a few shirts and hoodies that were generous in size and that either buttoned or zipped up at the front to avoid having to lift my arm up when dressing. I also bought a V-shaped pillow to use once I got home from hospital as I would have to sleep fairly upright for a while.


I finished work 10 days prior to my surgery, this felt strange knowing I wouldn’t be a Physio for the next few months. At the same time I knew that I now needed to put 100% of my energy into the stages ahead.

Craig and I went away for a couple of days which was lovely, we slept and ate and slept some more. Sometimes in order to properly switch off your brain and body need to be taken away from their normal situation. I felt rested and relaxed when we came home. This gave me the energy to focus on the surgery the following week.

I was very emotional during the week prior to my surgery, I was crying A LOT. It all seemed so momentous and so unfair that I was in this situation.  It was probably a combination of anxiety about the upcoming surgery combined with fatigue and reduced coping abilities due to the chemo sessions. I think I was trying to process all of the emotions in advance of my surgery. What will it be like? Will it be successful? What if something goes wrong? So many thoughts.