The Breast Clinic (.)(.)

HI THIS IS A RE-POST BASED ON MANY OF THE MESSAGES I'VE RECENTLY RECEIVED

 HOPE IT HELPS XX

Mammogram Overload (More boob groping)

The breast clinic is a strange experience, it feels like an efficient clinical conveyor belt. I do mean this in a positive way! 

(They know what they are doing, very very well)

You wait initially in the reception area, (T.V and Magazines in abundance; Chat, Bella, ..... Motorboat??). 

I brought my husband with me, which I initially hadn’t intended to do (little fatty lump and all will be grand). Looking back, I was a bit blasé about it all. He had arranged with his work to get time off, and basically told me he was coming and no arguing! (he was worried, I could tell). This caught me off guard, he’s a thinker and wouldn't really say too much.

Please if you are going, take someone with you for support and more importantly they can buy the coffee and buns!! Ooh and take a spare shirt for your husband/partner…"why Lorna"? you may ask. When you are driving along the motorway (with plenty of time to spare) and your coffee decides to give you splashback onto your freshly ironed pink shirt, make its way down the middle, top to bottom, with no regard for style or of the time you have to be there for, he will need another to change into, or as we had to, call into Tesco and buy a new one….then proceed to change into it running down the escalator in full view of staff and public and CCTV cameras, and telling me to hurry up !!!!!!!

A nurse takes you to a cubicle to change out of your top and bra and into a short gown with Velcro at the top.  “just pop the gown on and take a seat around the corner” (Dilemma!!) I know this may sound crazy,  but I wasn’t totally sure whether to fasten it at the front or at the back (what sort of access do they need??).  I know what you are thinking…....

10 GCSE’S, 3 A levels, 1 HONS degree and, a Breast Cancer Pilates course later, (oooh the irony of it) and I’m still deliberating as to whether to venture out of my cubicle with the fastening to the front or the back! 

A female version of ‘are you dressing to the left or the right today sir’?!!

After 10 minutes (I kid you not) of deliberation I made the decision to elect for the front fastening. I emerge from the cubicle like a nervous 5 year old about to start school. After an anxious glance around it’s a…….YES!!!  (Dilemma over, good choice Lorna) I made the correct choice. Everyone else has fastened their gown at the front. I will definitely recommend the breast clinic put up a notice in the cubicles to avoid confusion for others in the future!

The first stop on this mammogram conveyor belt was, ……. WITH… THE CONSULTANT, who again was lovely, very reassuring and warm hands too!! This involved another very thorough boob checking session. Again having to direct the doctor to the location of the lump! (slightly more experienced boyfriend this time)

More medical history questions, lifestyle questions, and family history. 

Now, I need to make this clear …. according to the Professionals, history, lifestyle etc I am an EXTREMELY LOW RISK PERSON.

Examination over, I was asked to take a seat in the waiting area, bonus, Lorraine Kelly on the TV to distract me! 10 minutes later Jeremy Kyle was about to start … I was saved from the nauseating trauma….. I was called to go for a mammogram.

Gown off time…The mammogram is really uncomfortable I can’t lie. It's also rather random. The Radiographer helps you position your breast onto the machine which squeezes it really tight. Each breast gets squeezed in two different positions.  Four squeezes and you’re done… no dilemma this time …Lorna masters the donning of the gown                (gown master).

So I’m back in the waiting room.. thank goodness someone has changed the TV channel onto........ Homes under the hammer… phew.... much more civilised!

5 minutes later I get called to go back for another set of mammograms as the previous ones weren’t clear enough..more squeezing..seriously!!

From this its straight into another room to another Radiographer, this time its for an ultrasound scans of my boobs. This was less uncomfortable. However, with the arrival of the Radiologist came the onset of ultrasound guided needle biopsies. Again, not the most pleasant experience!! They give a local analgesia to the area and then guide the needle into position. This is quite sharp and it feels like a significant pressure. I had 6 biopsies taken, including a core biopsy which was the most unpleasant, it felt really pressured and painful.

Following the biopsies, can you guess what’s next…

Yes ….mammograms again! More squeezing, tight positions and pressure in the left breast only this time.. talk about efficiency, about an hour and a half in total... 

After this I was allowed to collect my very patient husband from the reception area and go for much needed coffee and cake! I changed out of the gown and into my own clothes again..No dilemmas over front and back of these lol! (so long you pesky gown..‘til we meet again)  

Craigavon Hospital does a fantastic coffee and Caramel Square at reception (but they hide them behind a sign..so now you know)

We were asked to return to the clinic in an hour when they would have the Biopsy results back from the labs.

The speed, efficiency and Professionalism of the whole service really blew my mind. It really was like a conveyor belt of efficient people, who know their job, working as a fantastic team, so impressive. There’s no waiting for weeks to get the outcome.

We returned to the clinic an hour later and met the Consultant and the breast specialist nurse.