Motorboating

As I have mentioned in previous posts, a big part of how we as a family are coping with this journey is through humour. Sometimes badly timed and inappropriate, but always very REAL. 

There is A LOT of waiting for appointments, which often run very late. Finding entertainment whenever I can really helps reduce the stress and anxiety that can build up. The next few stories are hopefully an indication of this.

Sitting with my husband in the Breast Clinic waiting for my appointment, I noticed a table with the usual array of magazines - OK, Chat, Bella etc. Now whether this is just an indication of our rather inappropriate sense of humour, but in addition to these magazines was Motor Boat magazine… in a Breast Clinic!!????? Really!!

I thought is this a joke?  Is someone about to pop out and say suprise?!

If you don’t see the humour behind this, please watch the Wedding Crashers movie clip (attached) and then re-read this post!! Lol!

Click on this link to watch Wedding Crashers link

Craig and I were out grocery shopping the other day, he picked up 2 melons and started squeezing them to see which one was the ripest. The image of him squeezing the melons just cracked me up so there I am hysterically laughing in the aisle in Tesco and other shoppers looking and wondering...... I’m sure the other shoppers were very bemused! He then passed them to me to choose, I was deliberating over honeydew, Cantaloupe or Galia. 

I elected for one of each as I will soon be in possession of two different melons of my own!! He insisted we take a photo of this, much to the entertainment of the staff restocking the fruit and veg aisle!!!!

Another way we are trying to cope with this journey and its many twists and turns is through this blog.

We hope that you will read it and SHARE IT, CHECK YOUR BREASTS and remind others to check their breasts.

We are fundraising for a local Breast cancer charity Pretty ‘n’ Pink. They help families going through this by providing support, advice and help through funding for travel costs, child care, utility bills etc.

Please click on the link below to donate whatever you can, every penny really helps.

Click to this link to donate to Pretty 'n' Pink



WE HAVE SET UP A NEW FACEBOOK PAGE, PLEASE GO TO IT AND FOLLOW 
search for
Lorna Briggs Breast Cancer Journey
https://www.facebook.com/lornabriggsbreastcancerjourney/

Thank you.xx

THE ROLLERCOASTER

I have always thought of myself as a positive, strong person. I have to say, these thoughts have been challenged greatly over the past number of weeks.

The number of emotions I have experienced are overwhelming. It was a shocked feeling initially, which then rapidly became sporadic inconsolable sobbing. The ‘why is this happening to me?’, ‘what have I done to deserve this?’, ‘I am a good person?’, ‘I am a healthy person?’ thoughts. 

Click on this link for information about cancer and your feelings and emotions

There are periods of time when you totally forget about it all. This is just glorious, to be in a ’normal’ place again. However, the first time this happened, the return to the true reality felt extremely cruel.

My sleep was and still can be appalling. Often going to bed so tired, mentally, more than anything, desperate for a deep sleep. I would get maybe 2 hours sleep, then my brain would waken me and it would take over. The most random of thoughts in my head, other times it's filled with the vast amount of things we would need to arrange and organise before the proposed surgery date. Obviously the lack of sleep wasn’t helping with my ability to cope with the emotional roller coaster I was experiencing.

We had our belated honeymoon planned for the first two weeks of October. This had to be cancelled.

Trying to maintain positive whilst having to cancel something you have been looking forward to for twelve months isn’t easy. 

In November we were to go to Spain to view property with a view to buying for our retirement. This is due to happen in 5 years time. (Will it even happen now???)  This had to be cancelled.

What was worse was the guilt, the feeling of responsibility that I am in this mess and having to cancel these amazing trips. But also the impact that this has on my husband and family. I feel this way because I have this thing... this unfair knows no barrier.... all consuming thing called CANCER. 

Click here for information about help to manage depression

I teach Pilates classes and also work as a Physiotherapist. I knew I would have to try to arrange teachers to cover my classes. It isn't a case of someone covering one class, this would mean entrusting my classes, my business that I have built for 10 years to someone else for an indefinite period of time.  My emotions were and can be all over the place, my head was and still is at times.............. spinning.

It’s amazing what you learn about yourself during this process. I have learnt that I am more positive than I ever imagined, I am stronger too. 
A friend told me to repeat every morning and evening... I am still Lorna Briggs..say it until you believe it... and say it once more.

I have also learnt that I am quite a control freak!! I don’t like the unknown. I've found I become anxious when I don't know what is happening about the treatment or care path. This is out of my control, normally I'm the healthcare professional in control, a little reassurance and information can make all the difference.

Click here for information about support for stress and anxiety

Please continue to share this blog and increase awareness.

16th AUGUST 2017

A week after the diagnosis we returned to the breast clinic for an appointment with the Surgical Consultant and the Breast Specialist Nurse. The Nurse sits through all of the appointments and acts as an advocate for you during the process. My husband Craig and my sister Claire came with me. 

Despite the CT Scan showing no further spread I was still anxious. 

As it was such a small lump I was expecting to be told that a lumpectomy was required. 

The surgeon started by reviewing all of the scans and the results to date. 

Then, she said it, ‘so we will be doing a mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy and then radiotherapy’… I remember shaking my head and feeling dumbstruck … mastectomy… chemotherapy, radiotherapy, what the F***?? this can't be me they are talking about.

I turned to look at Craig and Claire for their support and they both seemed as confused as me.

The Surgeon seemed equally confused by our reaction.  She asked "was this not what I was expecting"? I said "no, I thought such a small lump would only require a lumpectomy" I was struggling to understand why they would have to remove my entire breast for such a tiny lumps.

Click on this link for information about lumpectomy surgery

Click on this link for more information about mastectomy surgery

She was very clear with us that it was important to leave no trace of cancer cells, so the choice would be mastectomy. Due to our difficulty in processing what was planned, she did agree for us to have further tests prior to making a definite date for surgery. She wanted me to have an MRI and a Bone Scan. 

Click here for information about bone scans

The appointment had started late and at this stage it was 5pm. 

I was working in an hour... I had to teach two Pilates classes.

My sister drove us home through the busy commuter traffic. There wasn't much chat in the car, we were all still trying to process what had been said. It felt surreal and I felt spaced. I decided not to cancel my classes as I need a distraction, something, anything to take my mind off what had been said.  I literally hopped out of the car ran into the house changed and Craig drove me to the classes, (he said that it wasn’t safe for me to drive! probably correct!)

I know it sounded crazy, and I remember Craig and Claire looking at each other with concerned faces when I said that I wanted to teach that night, but for me, I think this was the best thing to do. I was able to focus on the classes and almost forget what had happened for those 2 hours.

After classes Craig collected me, we loaded all of my equipment into the car. I sat in the passenger seat and then it hit me,..... hard. I cried and cried and cried, really ugly crying, gasping for air, nasty crying!!  I remember saying, and have said it many times since ‘why is this happening to me’? I have tried to rationalise it, but it can’t be rationalised, It’s just there…....

Please, please share this blog with as many people as you can. We need to raise awareness and it might help save a life☺

The Scans

At the end of the diagnosis appointment we were re-introduced to the Surgeon who would take over my care. She requested a number of additional tests. Over the next 10 days these were completed. First off, I had a CT Scan with contrast to determine if there was any further spread.

The contrast is a dye used to help highlight the organs. The radiographer brought me a jug of what looks like water and said to drink a glass every 10 mins, ...this is fine.. I can do this (definitely if it's a Gin and Tonic).

So 2 glasses in and I start to feel a bit nauseated. There is an odd taste to the water. I mention this my husband (Craig) and my sister who have come with me. They both say "its just Belfast water" and I'm just imagining it…. 

I start to doubt myself whilst they continue to wind me up!! 

In the end I ask the radiographer, and, yes there is iodine in the water. Phew! ... Not senile yet....That's something at least! 

The scan itself only lasts about 10 mins. You lie very still whilst an IV runs into a vein in your arm.

The Radiographer did warn me that the contrast can make you feel very warm and give you a strong sensation that you need to pee.

So I nodded politely and lay very still, suddenly I felt very hot and then I began to panic. I thought I was starting to pee! Honestly I kid you not! I was thinking, how can I possibly leave here with sodden tracksuit bottoms… So it was a significant surprise and relief to find that all it had been was a sensation. The trackies were all good!! CT scan completed. An initial bit of feedback was given... the results were as expected... no major changes in things.

Click on this link for information about CT scan

 I also had an MRI Scan with contrast, this was to clarify if my right breast was clear.  This involves you AGAIN lying very still, for 40 mins this time.......nightmare when you get an itchy nose!! ("please lie still lorna" ..said the voice over the tannoy... hello... I have hayfever!!)

I was asked to lie on my tummy with my boobs deposited into two receptacles.
At this stage getting my boobs out is becoming worryingly normal. The radiographers then squeeze the receptacles to keep your boobs in a secure position. A bit like in woodwork, when you hold something securely in a vice. Again there was an IV running into my arm during the scan.

The bonus on this occasion was, I was allowed to bring a CD of my choice that could be played during the scan, top tip ..just make sure you don’t pick anything that will make you move about! Avoid the dance music for this!!

Click on this link for information about MRI scan

We then returned to the Breast Clinic for all of  the results and the plan of action…

Tuning in the Radio

I’ve posted a lot about my journey recently, now is probably a good time to recap and think about what has happened.

I felt a very small hard lump, like a dried pea in my left breast (I thought it was nothing to worry about). To give me reassurance I made an appointment with my GP. The GP assessed me and immediately referred me to the breast clinic. I was seen 5 days later. I had several mammograms, ultrasound scans and biopsies to ascertain what the lump was. 

I received my results the same day.

There was a brief chat about various treatment options but nothing in any detail. (My head was spinning with the information).

Click this link for information about mammograms

Click this link for information about biopsies

I was diagnosed with breast cancer that day.

A follow up appointment was made to meet and chat to the Surgical Consultant.

At this appointment we had a number of discussions with the Consultant, some more cringeworthy than others!!

We’ve just been told about the diagnosis and the possible treatment options. 

The consultant asks, "do you have one breast smaller than the other?". 

I say "I am actually unsure". 

At this point my husband holds his hands up again as though adjusting the dials on a radio, with a slight look of pleasure and says "yes ..the left"!! 

Oh dear!!

Remember to check often, easiest time is in the shower or lying on your back in bed. If someone offers to help .......then its a bonus!!!👀

PLEASE SHARE ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA. IT MIGHT SAVE SOMEONES LIFE!!! 

IF YOU HAVEN’T FOLLOWED THE BLOG YET JUST ENTER YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN THE BOX TO THE LEFT SIDE OF THIS POST AND YOU WILL RECEIVE UPDATES AUTOMATICALLY !! (YOU WON'T RECEIVE SPAM)

Cup or Mug or Handful????

Following on from the last few posts which have been quite "heavy", it's only fair that I let you know how I am dealing with this. Its with focus, determination and humour... lots of humour. Each appointment or trip to hospital has been worrying or frightening even. Craig and I often see the funny side of things, (mostly at inappropriate moments) it's how we deal with the stress.

When the very empathetic yet professional doctor asks you, "what cup size are you"? and before you get a chance to reply, your husband, eyes partially closed and with a real look of concentration on his face, holds his hands up in front as though squeezing my boobs and says;
"about this size… yes, it's this size, I have first hand experience you know"? 

You know things are becoming more surreal. She did laugh thank goodness!!

How should I check my breasts -NHS choices

Please click the link above for a fantastic guide to help and show you how to check your breasts.

Also contained within are other links to help answer any questions you may have, such as what's entailed in the screening process, signs and symptoms and support services.