Lorna's Journey Views

Thursday, 12 October 2017

Curve Ball





And so another drive to the hospital begins. This time Craig and my parents came with me. I've found the more ears who attend the appointments at this stage the better!! Often there is just so much information that I miss or forget some of the specifics. Another thing we have started to do is to write notes during the appointments, to help reduce the chance of missing anything.

We were meeting with the surgeon again.

At the last appointment we had been given a provisional surgery date which was in 10 days time. I think we attended the appointment with an action plan already formulated in our heads and were viewing the appointment as a confirmation process. “These are your test results, this is the surgery and you will have it on this date….” 
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Not so quick Lorna….
  
Always a curve ball!! 

The good news was no secondary cancer anywhere, and no cancer in the bones. Fantastic to hear …. the relief is indescribable, almost like a pressure I wasn’t aware I was feeling had been lifted.

The surgeon then said that, yes I would need to have a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy (this is to ensure they have a better chance of removing the affected area). This was actually okay to hear, that may sound odd, but I'd had time over the week between appointments to process the facts… I have breast cancer and need to have a breast removed....crap or stronger words!! I had cried, kicked inanimate objects, been really pissed off and angry questioning... why...? So when she said mastectomy I had already mentally accepted it was going to happen.

I want to survive this so it has to happen. No question.

She then tossed in the curve ball, “I want you to meet with the Oncologist to discuss the possibility of delaying surgery and having Chemotherapy first!!.....”

Again we all sat a bit shocked and unsure. Then they begin, that rapid procession of thoughts through my brain of ‘why would they want to change the plan, what might be wrong?’

She explained that new research (mainly coming from America) is starting to promote the improved benefits of Chemo first, followed by surgery second. The logic is that they will actually be able to see if the Chemo is being effective. The idea is the tumour will shrink in size if the treatment is working, whilst if the tumour has been removed first they won’t have anything to track its effectiveness. This will be an indicator of how effective it is on any stray little cancer cells that may be holidaying somewhere in the rest of my body!!
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We left the appointment a little shell shocked, again a totally different outcome than we had planned for, more for me to get my head around!!

Craig and I were going away for 4 days, straight after the appointment for our rescheduled honeymoon.  The drive to the hotel was strange, I think we were both trying to process what had been said.

I am so pleased we went away for that break, we rested, slept, walked, swam and ate. The car didn’t move once and it was the break that we needed.


Whilst making the booking we had explained to the hotel reception staff that we had to cancel our honeymoon because of my health and we were booking a break with them as a replacement and also as it was Craig’s birthday (not a big one…yet!!) 

The hotel staff were so kind, thoughtful and helpful. I can’t praise the Nuremore Hotel, County Monaghan enough, and just like The Terminator … we will be back!! 

 It wasn’t the honeymoon we had planned but it was exactly right for us at that point. Like all of our plans at the moment that amazing holiday is just on HOLD!!....
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